We know that, to our children, asking for help can sometimes evoke feelings on par with admitting defeat — many times they and if honest, we, would rather stubbornly keep going and trying to do it themselves /ourselves, leading to frustration, upset, and even tears in younger children if the stress is significant.
I have been reminded of this while in quarantine. Not everything goes to plan and asking for help releases the stress immediately. Placing too much expectation to do it all alone is not smart. Connection is built when we help others, and humans love to help and to be needed. This is why many of us chose teaching in the first place. To help and be needed satisfies a deeper need for purpose and belonging. We need to teach our children to ask for help and see it as a sign of understanding limitations and positive self-management. At times the help might be encouragement, ”Have a go”, “I know you can do it”,“ I’m here if you get stuck”.
"I Can Ask for Help" is meant to help your child avoid getting to that point of complete frustration when things get tough. It is a Protective Behavior Strategy similar to what I typically do in counseling sessions with students. We trace their hand outlining the 5 fingers. In each finger we write down someone they can “trust” to help when feelings start to overwhelm. Early detection and being in touch with feelings is key and remaining calm, cool and in control of emotions is a character strength we all want to identify and rehearse.
On each rainbow strip, your child will write the name of someone they can go to when they need help.
Should you have any concerns, please contact School Counselor Ken at email@example.com