Resilience is built not by avoiding difficulties or challenges but by facing them and problem solving when things get tough. If we overprotect our children and shelter them from conflicts either socially or mentally, they do not learn how to resile and conquer the little bumps along the road of life. They often learn that things are too much for them and retreat to the familiar and safe. Anxiety loves comfort and certainty, but the opposite is true. We stretch and grow from challenge and testing ourselves and having to regulate our emotions throughout.
As a parent our job is to re-assure, show confidence, and encourage our children as they take safe risks and challenge themselves whether it be doing a test, preparing for a music exam, climbing higher than before on the monkey bars, or performing in a concert. Be a cheerleader. Here are 10 “what questions” you can ask to develop a Growth Mindset in your child. These questions ask about challenge and struggle and evoke deeper thinking and reflection providing evidence to the child that they can overcome and work their way through problems that challenge them.
The gift in return is a resilient child that thrives on challenge. Reminder that overprotective parenting is smothering and signals caution to the child, leads to a lack of confidence, and increases propensity for anxiety to flourish. Sometimes as parents we need to deal with our own anxiety first to make sure we do not transfer the same onto our child. Try these 10 growth mindset questions to start to change the conversation in your home.
Should you have any concerns, please contact School Counselor Ken at firstname.lastname@example.org